I told you not to throw all that stuff away...

Every year there has to be some kind of issue. Something that keeps us occupied during our free time. Our oh-so-copious free time. In previous years it's been locks on the bathroom doors, bad copiers, terrible PSATs (and not scores, mind you, but the actual experience of giving the PSATs).

This year's fun has been toilet paper.

Yes, this is what occupies the minds of teachers and administrators when they aren't concerned about student achievement, content, grading, planning and any number of other items that a teacher must think about on a daily basis.

Apparently the guy who is in charge of purchasing toilet paper for the entire county messed up the order (there's one guy, that's his job. Who knew? I wonder what the qualifications are?). Instead of ordering by roll, he ordered by sheet.

I kid you not.

By sheet.

Needless to say, in a district of hundreds of thousands of people, employees, faculty, students, the whole kit and kaboodle, there was not enough toilet paper for all. How did this manifest, you may ask? Well, I am about to tell you. Every day instead of 5 or 6 rolls of toilet paper in the ladies' faculty restroom (and I can only speak to that restroom, since I don't loiter in the student bathrooms (with good reason) or the mens' room), we would have 2, maybe three per day. I at first thought this was a result of something the custodians were doing. It's happened before - they take too long to refill the soap dispenser, or there's not enough paper towels. So this was not out of the ordinary. But then came the days when there was only one roll of toilet paper in there (for two stalls, and at least 40 women). And then there was the day when there was no toilet paper at all. That morning I entered the Social Studies workroom, and found the department chair of the English department visiting us, and I said something about the fact that there was no toilet paper in the women's room. At 7:05 in the morning.

Her response was to remove her cell phone from her bra (yes, you read that correctly, that's how she carries her cell phone around school. She has been known to pull it out of her bra in the middle of the hallway to answer the phone), dials the phone and proceeds to complain VERY loudly to whomever was on the other end of the line about the lack of toilet paper. It was at this point that the news broke that the toilet paper shortage was a district-wide event. We were on toilet paper rations. It was England, 1942 all over again. Next it would be sugar and butter products. Women would be penciling nylon "lines" on the back of their legs, and we'd be swing dancing in the dark during an air raid drill. Or, we'd just buy our own damn toilet paper and bring it with us whenever we went to the bathroom. Which is pretty much what we did.

It's better now, by the way.

There was a teacher who'd had his house tp'd earlier in the fall. He should have saved the stuff and brought it in.

A gentle reminder...

Please vote today.

tigers and catnip

Ok, so by popular demand, I looked it up, and apparently tigers are affected by catnip. Who knew?

The things the kids come up with...

When discussing our "fight or flight" survival mechanism in class, I used the example of seeing a tiger on the street, and asked the students how our body would respond. One of my students went left field (beyond, actually) and asked the following question:

Are tigers affected by catnip?

It rendered me speechless.

That's PROFESSOR H. to you, mister!

Ah, fall. Hurricane season, new school supplies, the smell of mold in the classroom...wait, isn't that supposed to be chalk?

To update:

Still teaching AP Psychology and World History. This year I am the only teacher teaching AP Psychology. There are three sections of the class, but apparently the guidance department (and by that I mean the Director of Guidance, to whom I will henceforth be referring as The Ass) is unfamiliar with the term "cap". I know, I know, many people don't like caps. Look at the NHL. They don't want salary caps (and frankly, with salaries like that, who can blame 'em???). But I am quite attached to class caps. Why, you might ask? Well, because class caps mean that you can only have a certain number of students in your classroom. For example, the state says that in core courses (required courses, like my World History class), the cap is 28 students. I have always been under the impression that in elective classes, the cap has been 30 (which is still a lot of students, especially when essay writing is a requirement of the course, but after this fall, I think I can get over that). Ask me how many students I have. Go ahead, ask.

In 2nd period: 32
In 3rd period: 34
In 5th period: 30 (my small class!!)

I feel a wee bit as if this were my punishment. When I heard last year that my colleague who taught AP Psych with me would be leaving teaching to take care of her three children (you GO girl!), I went to my department chair and asked that I not teach a course load that was entirely Psychology - I wanted to be a history teacher as well. He, being the cool guy that he is, said that was fine, he would tell guidance to hold the number of classes to 3. Someone forgot to mention the cap.

The Ass thinks I hate him.

Probably a good thing to think. I don't hate him, I hate the fact that the man is a moron, can't do his job, and doesn't like to say no. How difficult is that? "Hi, I'm little Billy Sue, and I'd like to sign up for AP Psychology." "I'm sorry, you can't, the course is full. You will have to wait until next year." How difficult is that? Did I mention that they were still trying to put children in my class on Thursday?

Oh boy.

However, they are all really great kids, and while I'm not too upset when they ask to leave (as one or two already have, bringing my numbers down to what I indicated above), I am sorry to see them go.

So, in addition to that, I have a student teacher for the first quarter. This is an interesting fellow, who will get a whole entry all to himself at some point in the future. Needless to say, I think that teaching is probably not the best choice for him, but we will see in the weeks ahead.

But wait, there's more.

I'm also teaching a graduate course at one of our (many) local universities: Social Studies Methods (basically, how to teach Social studies). How cool is that??? I am co-teaching with someone else who teaches in another school district in the area. He is awesome - he's a great teacher, he's very enthusiastic, and he's very good at what he does, and I'm really glad to have this opportunity. But (you knew there was a but, didn't you?) he and I have very different teaching styles. He's more a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants guy, and I'm more of a need-to-know-weeks-in-advance-what's-going-to-happen girl. In other words, he's much more laid back when it comes to planning, and I'm much more anal (OCD girl, comin' through!) In the end it will be awesome - we have 12 students, all of whom are working hard, and most of whom are in schools, either observing, teaching already, or some combination thereof. Plus, they are graduate students, so they do their homework. This, to me, is an amazing concept. Even my AP students don't do all their work all the time.

At any rate, you can see why I have been neglectful of the blog as of late. However, I'm hoping to be better about that, and at least give you weekly updates. I have made that my goal. Let's see if that actually happens.

For now, remember that the brain is the final frontier.

Kids will be kids...

So last week in my first period, my tenth graders asked if they could bring food to class for a sort of party today. I said that as long as we did what I had planned for my lesson, then they would be welcome to bring in food. I think they were expecting that I would say no. They were pretty surprised.

But here's the kicker. I passed out a signup sheet so everyone could write down what they were going to bring, in an attempt to help them actually remember. And only three kids did - one girl brought donuts, one girl brought juice, and one girl brought paper plates. They begged to have another chance next class. Let's see if they actually remember.

I was walking through the park one day...

"As England was trying to get rid of absolutism, James I came by."

What, was he taking a stroll, and just happened to bump into England? "Sorry old chap, didn't see you there. Would you mind if I became king and tried to rule by divine right? Gorgeous, thanks."

I'm so glad I had my students turn in rough drafts!!!

In a student's project about the kamikazes: "Pilots would load their planes with explosives and purposefully crash into enemy targets to cause major damage. They did this to show that they
would fight to the death and weren't scared of dieting to win the war."

I tell ya, I'd stick to a diet if it would help to win a war...

learning a new thing every day...

"Rasputin had apparently died many times."

Apparently, I'm a terrible teacher...

Here's the evidence. On their World War 2 test (which they all had to retake, because someone cheated), I found the following information:

lebensraum is also known as "Il Duce", inventor of Fascism.
Franco is the leader of the Third Reich, and wrote Mein Kampf
Korea was an Axis power.

OY!!

Talk about an understatement...

From one of my students homework assignments: "Imre Nagy tried establishing Hungary's independence from the Soviet Union, which didn't go so well and cost his life."

From the pens of children...

"Social Darwinism was a theory that Charles Darwin developed. It goes back to the theory that humans were developed through chimpanzees such as the homo erectes."


There are so many things wrong with this statement that I don't even know where to begin.

Nope, not dead yet...

Just wish I had two more of me to get these $*#@$ essays read. Love the end of the quarter.



I'm wondering why one of my students wrote "Woot woot AP Psycho" on my board. She signed it with a picture of a heart and her name. Hmmm. Yes, she's in my AP Psych class. So should I take the "woot woot" to be positive?