Do you miss us?

Sarcasmo asked me if I missed my old school, and I've gotten e-mails from a few of my previous students asking me the same thing. This is a good question. The short answer is yes, of course I do, but then where would be the fun in just that?

I miss the students most of all - I really miss knowing students that aren't currently enrolled in my classes. I like seeing students in the hallway that I've had in the past - asking them how their new year is shaping up, how they like their teachers this year, how they're doing in their current history course. There is something very comforting about seeing familiar faces in the river of students that rush past my classroom every morning. I just don't have that here, but then, nor does pretty much everyone else in the building, except for those few teachers who came from the same schools that the kids did. It's disconcerting not knowing the students - and I know that will change over time, but it's definitely one of the things that gave me pause when I was thinking about leaving my old school.

I miss the camaraderie with the faculty. I knew the people I worked with quite well at my old school, and we got along very well, too. I count them among my closest friends. I miss them very much. I also miss how comfortable we all were with each other. We're not comfortable with each other here yet, and that's making it difficult for some of us. The department chair has done a spectacular job of trying to establish a safe place where we can begin to feel comfortable, but there's still the aspect of time - we've only known each other really since about the second week of August. Oh sure, every year there are new teachers in the department that have to blend into the already existing fabric, but that's usually two, maybe three at the most. The blending happens pretty easily, for the most part, and we can continue on. Here there are sixteen teachers in the high school Social Studies department, plus an additional twelve middle school teachers, and none of us knew each other before coming here. I'm finding that to be the most difficult. Frankly, I don't trust the other teachers yet - that probably says more about me than it does about them, but there it is. I know they are bright, they know their content, and that they are good teachers. I know all of that intellectually, but emotionally, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.

When I was contemplating leaving the old school, I met with a colleague who had been there with me, but had since moved on. One of the things he said to me was that what we had had at that school was special - we got along well, we were friendly, close, and had a shared vision about where our department was going. He felt that he would probably never find that again at another school, and he missed it. I acknowledged what he said, but dismissed it, thinking "teachers are special - it doesn't matter where we are, it'll always be like this", and didn't think anything else of it. However, I wonder if in fact he was actually correct - maybe what we had as a faculty at the other school I won't ever find again. I was lucky to have it for six years, but I won't find it again.

Wow, that's a depressing thought.

I think that the camaraderie will come. I don't think it will be exactly like it was at my old school - it just can't be. But I think it will definitely come here at this school - I think we are all working very hard towards it.