Amateur meteorologist

Whenever there is snow in the forecast, most teachers become amateur meteorologists. We avidly watch the Weather Channel, or the local news, whichever is the preference, and make all kinds of proclamations that most of us are completely and totally unqualified to make.

"Oh, the snow will pass off to the west - we won't get much precipitation at all."
"It'll sock us in, we won't be in school for days. Better stock up on bread, toilet paper and milk."

One thing I have noticed: every school has a Weather Guy. Or at least, in my vast experience of two schools, they each have had the "Weather Guy". The Weather Guy is the one who makes weather his hobby. He talks about it with extensive background knowledge - he may even be a science teacher. He is the guy that people go to when there is the threat of impending snowy weather (because frankly, much as we love our jobs, teachers are often even more excited about snow days than students are), and he will hold forth on the subject.

The Weather Guy at my previous school was a really nice guy. He taught science, and actually taught something called "Geosystems", which actually teaches weather systems. I figure this actually qualifies him to make pronouncements about the weather. He was also a very calming presence, and always had a smile on his face when I went to the coffee club in the mornings, and as far as I know, despite the sometimes raucous nature of the morning coffee club, he never had a bad word to say about anyone, even people he didn't like. He loved students, and loved teaching. This was a Weather Guy you could go to with confidence. And he was frequently more correct than the official weathermen that the local networks hire.

The Weather Guy at this school is a social studies teacher, and he's also a nice guy, but I'm just not sure why he's the Weather Guy here. He is actually a self-appointed Weather Guy, whereas the Weather Guy at my previous school had Weather Guy-ness thrust upon him. The WG here is on some kind of e-mail list that sends him weather alerts from the National Weather Service - so we will open our e-mail in the mornings, and there in our inboxes will be an e-mail from WG saying "Fog alert for the county" or "strong wind alert" or something like that. For every single weather event WG has sent us some kind of alert or warning. Even weather events that were non-events. What's that all about?

My question is this: What is it that compels someone to become a WG? Is it truly an obsession with wind patterns and pressure change and precipitation? Is it a need to be desired as a source of knowledge? Is it a sense of self-importance? I am currently under the impression that with the WG at this school he just wants to help - he likes being able to inform people of the world around him, which is only natural - he's a teacher. We like to tell people stuff. We like to share interesting pieces of information, it's what we do. (In fact, at a social gathering last night, I brought out the teacher mode, much to my horror. I began to give a mini-lecture on the design of Washington, DC. Something in which I am not even remotely qualified, except that I think I read a book somewhere once. I watched, horrified, as I took up "teacher stance" and used "teacher voice" and began blathering away about L'Enfant and the diagonal streets. They may never ask me to come back. I did have the good sense to apologize, but the damage may already be done. Nobody likes a know-it-all, and teachers are the worst...and best!) Hey, is there such a thing as too long for a parenthesis? I may have pushed the boundaries on that one.

So with Weather Guy, I suppose one will never really know what drives one to become a WG, but suffice it to say that as long as there will be snow days, there will always be Weather Guys, and teachers who remain glued to the tv or the internet, watching the progress of a storm eagerly.

By the way, I heard this on the Weather Channel on Saturday while I was watching for the storm: "Today, periods of wet rain." Um, what? Is there another kind of rain I need to worry about? Is there dry rain? Should I worry about that? Will it damage my car's tires?

Enough babbling, I have lessons to plan.