A word of advice to middle school students everywhere...

Dropping an entire bottle of cologne in the hallway is not funny. Spilling an entire bottle of aforementioned cologne in your friend's locker is also not funny. Spraying yourself with half a bottle of cologne will not make up for the fact that you have not taken a shower in a week. Take a shower. Please. For the love of all that is beautiful in this world, take a shower. Really. If there was ever a time in your life that you should, nay, MUST take a shower, it would be every day during your puberty years. Perhaps twice a day would not be asking too much.

This has been a public service announcement. Your friends, family, peers and teachers will thank you.

Oh, and use soap.